68 Days

I have so much on my mind and I just can't wait to get away and soak up the sun on our family cruise. I really do need this vacation and I couldn't ask for better people to spend it with. I guess you can only push so much to the back of your mind before it starts to seep into the front of it again. Work drives me nuts, I miss my kitties, I miss my friend Chad, I'm sick of my weight, I want to go back and finish school but I don't have the money to go back, and apparently I set my standards too high. All of that and then some has been on my mind. I like my job but most days I just get sick of it early on. I want to go back and finish the little bit of school I have left but with no money that's kind of hard. I did however take my SAC-IT test and pass it, so that's something good. Maybe I can go back into it part time again. Time is going by so fast, it seems like just yesterday the fire happened and Ollie and Libby Lue were gone. Little things remind me of them and it creeps up on me and reminds me how much I miss them. Asher is a great boy though, he definitely brought me up from my low point. I don't think that anyone else really knew how much they meant to me until they saw me cry thirty times a day. I'm still trying to decide if trying to be more than friends with Chad was a good idea or not. If I hadn't than I would always wonder what if, but on the other hand now it seems that I've lost him for good. Not having one of my best friends really sucks! Someone told me recently that I set my standards too high in what I want from a boyfriend. At first, I was like oh my gosh maybe I do. After awhile I thought, wait a second, no I don't set my standards too high, and I'm not lowering them. If I lower them than I might not be completely happy, which is not fair to me or anyone else. Well there it is, it's all out now back to the upcoming cruise. I am so excited to go and I think I'm going to do some excursions this time around. This cruise line and boat is supposed to be way better than the last one I was on. I've been looking at excursions and I really think I want to swim with the dolphins, I've always wanted to do that! I'm also contemplating parasailing. I'm super scared of heights but really considering doing it, and maybe I'll get over my fears. I started to write this last night but I'm pretty sure my sleeping pill kicked in and everything was blurry and moving lol! Of course the one night I get the urge to write out a blog post my sleeping pill decides to actually work and work fast to boot. Today was a long day at work and I've had a headache so I'm going to get off the computer and watch some netflix and lay down. Oh I also have a little side note for anyone that is interested. I've talked about my pet communicator that I use in past blog posts and if you've read the stories I've told about how much she has helped me through this last 8 months or so. I got an email from her a few days ago with an amazing story of how her and her dog Java survived carbon monoxide poisoning for quite some in her house. Java is slowly making her way to recovery however she has lost 25% of her body weight. She currently has over $3500 in vet bills for Java and her new furnace (her old furnace caused this whole mess) cost $5500 which she is paying a portion of it with her retirement money. She's never asked for direct financial support but she is asking now. She's offering 10 minute free session for any of her services with each $10 donated to her and Java. I'm not insisting anyone donate money, I just thought if anyone likes to donate or finds it in there heart to help her out it would be pretty awesome. She means a lot to me so maybe she could mean something to you. She has a website: www.dancingporcupine.com. That will list and explain everything that she does and is about. I'm not sure if she posted on her website about the carbon monoxide poisoning or if she just sent it to just the people on her emailing list. If it isn't there and you'd like to read the full story let me know and I can send the email to you. Again she offers many, many services so don't hesitate to look! She can definitely change your world!