I am Me

I've been thinking a lot lately, and I haven't written a blog in awhile so I figured that this is the perfect opportunity. This whole year has been a HUGE learning experience. I've learned that life is too short, I've learned that things can be taken from you so fast that you don't even have time to blink, and I've also learned who's there when all the "dust" has settled. I'm not going to lie, it's all been tough and I felt like I was drowning, but I am trying to "swim my way back up". I miss grandma, I especially miss my Ollie boy and Libby Lue, and sad that I don't get to see Donna's dad again. I've also learned that people should just accept me for who I am and not what they want me to be. I am Krysta, I am a sister, I am a daughter, I am a mom to Asher, I am a girl that hurts, I am a girl that is lost, I am a girl that is confused, I love (sometimes too hard), I love my family and would do anything for them, I love Starbucks, my favorite coffee is pumpkin spice, I love to read, I am a book junkie, I am addicted to Netflix, I cry during many episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice, I hold grudges, I can't forget a lot of my past, I've made many mistakes, I have many regrets, I've gained weight over the last few years, I'm more curvy than most women, yes I weigh more than I should and I've been beating myself up for it for months, I love being in my pj's, I love cookie dough, I like getting my nails done, I love getting pedicures, I miss my blankie a lot, I love my new bed, I miss my old things, I miss my old bed with my old blankets, I miss all my clothes and shoes that I had, I like my new clothes, I miss my old columbia jacket, I love all my new picture collages in my room, I am deathly scared of bugs, I run screaming like a little girl if a bee is near me, I love cats, dogs are nice, I work at an animal hospital, I would wear scrubs everyday and night if I could and it didn't look weird, I love to cuddle, I wish I was a little girl again, I now believe that my papa is almost always right about boys, I love my truck, I hated school, I have rocky relationships with both my parents, I am scared that I am not going to get my "happy ending", I'm scared that no one will accept me for all of what I am, but I am not changing who I am to make someone else happy.....I am Me. There are many people in my life, been in my life, or just passing through my life that don't, haven't, or hadn't accepted who I am. Because of this the ones who tell me on a regular or daily basis that I am beautiful inside and out, they don't care how much I weigh, they know all of the above and probably then some that I don't even know about me or realize about myself, they just accept me and love me for who I am. They believe that I will lose weight, that I will get passed all of the bad and find good, and that I will get my happy ending. This may hurt some people's feelings and I don't intend it to (because I know there are other people that accept me), but thanks to Donna Canzoneri I am learning to believe that I am who I am, she accepts me for all that I am, and that I should not change who I am for anyone, because if they can't accept me for who I am they don't deserve me. She has also made me realize that I've had my time to mope, cry, and be sad. And now I should take the time to be strong and "get back on the horse"...start dating and having fun again. So world, here I am....let's let the dating and fun begin.