Heaven got another angel

I didn't start work today until ten, so I stopped and got myself a Starbucks.  I just love when the people at Starbucks remember and know who I am.  Totally makes my morning!  We weren't too busy at work today and the day went by pretty fast.  During work I got a text from Donna telling me that uncle vince was dying today.  Uncle Vince is papa's uncle...I don't/didn't know him all that well, but I know it was/is hard for Papa to go through this.  My heart goes out to Uncle Vince's family and friends that are affected by the loss of him.  He was 88 years old, and he lived a pretty good life.  My prayers tonight go out to my grandma, grandpa, papa, and all other family members.  Heaven was pretty lucky to have gained two new angels in the last week and a half.  Man, they aren't kidding when they say it happens in threes....I hope in this instance it doesn't though.  After work I went and got my nails done, came home folded laundry, ate dinner, and now catching up on my emails, facebook, and my blog.  I've been trying really hard to post a blog everyday, even if it is boring and short.  I am really excited because I am getting insurance through work, and I haven't had insurance in awhile!  I can finally get my headaches taken care of, my sleep issues, anxiety, and everything else dealt with.  I can't wait!  Well, I'm off to read and then cuddle with my boy!

Deadly Sins in My Eyes

Pride-a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in conduct.
Envy- a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, or possessions.
Anger- a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong.
Sloth- habitual disinclination to exertion; indolence; laziness.
Greed- excessive or rapacious desire, especially for wealth or possessions.
Gluttony- excessive eating and drinking.
Lust- a passionate or overmastering desire or craving for something.
Jealousy- resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage etc., or against another's success or advantage itself.

Seems like lately I've been encountering all of these, some more than others but all of them none the less.  I know that it's human nature to encounter some of these feelings at some point in your life.  I know I am only 23 years old, not much time to gain life skills and wisdom as my elders have had, but I like to think that I have a old soul and have learned a lot through my short 23 years.  I've learned that life is short, not to take things for granted, you can't make someone love you, some people just don't care even if I do, trust is hard to build, it's not about what you have but whom you have in your life, we are responsible for who we become, you are responsible for you, bad things happen to good people, some things are privelages, and not every relationhip you have in your life is the same. 
The relationship I have with Donna, is different then the one I have with my mom, aunt mary, aunt anna, my sisters, or anyone else or vice versa.  A person shouldn't have to defend their relationships with others to other people.  It's just not right, nor is it fair.  Relationships are two sided, a person can't do it on their own.  You have to give a little to take. 
I was having a very good day today, work went well!  I ran some errands with Jordan today...had to get kitty food at PetSmart, get some cuddleduds at Kohls, and go to Half Price Books to sell some books back, then to Starbucks to get a coffee for Donna, then had drinks and shrimp with my mom.  My mom and I had a little disagreement early Sunday morning, but we have talked it out.  We may not see eye to eye on a few things but we've agreed to disagree, without any name calling and hurtful things being said.  When Jordan and I got home, I started my laundry, changed my sheets on my bed, sorted through my shoes (getting rid of some of them), did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and cleaned the catboxes.  I was feeling pretty good and productive.  As the night went on, I started feeling a little anxious, down, angry, bitter, upset, confused, and disappointed.  Donna has been a part of my life for quite some time now, it didn't just happen yesterday...and over the years we developed a bond, and it kept growing.  I'm sick of having to defend it....don't you all have someone that is your best friend? Don't most people have a best friend? The answer to those is probably yes!  Well in my case my best friend is in her 40's and can also be like a mom.  In no way shape or form is she taking the place of my mother.  And mom, when you're reading this (which I know you probably will be) this blog and all this isn't directed towards you...because we've talked about all this tonight and we're good, we're cool!  It's for everyone else out there that has a problem.  Since I've been going through all this stuff...I did make one promise to myself (if I was going to make it through) was to stay/be true to myself.  No lying to myself or doing something I don't necessarily want to do.  I love you all, just all in different ways...because you know there are different kinds of love.  I'm done preaching/venting now.  Off to watch my DVR'd Hart of Dixie <3

Ollie Meets Hamilton

Today I worked until 3pm, then came home to get ready for Megan's Celebration of Life Party.  There was a ton of people there, and it was just what Megan would have wanted! 

There was some nice speeches, they made me tear up :(
Malissa and I came home, got some starbucks and then introduced my boy Ollie to Mr. Hamilton, Malissa's hamster!

Hmmm, what is that?

Ewww, get it away from me!

Hehe, he was very unsure of Hamilton at first but soon he was ready to play...ok well maybe not play, more like hunt him!  No worries, I didn't let Ollie eat him.  It sure was very cute/funny to watch!

Another Lazy Sunday

Today was a very lazy day!  Sometimes it feels good to just lounge around at home all day and do nothing.  Technically I didn't do nothing, I finished two books...yep 2!  One was pretty short, so it might not count.  I took a shower, ate a late lunch, took a little nap and then cuddled with my "kids".

I'm afraid that Libby Lue was shying away from the camera and I couldn't capture her.  It's back to work tomorrow.....weekends should be longer!  Tomorrow night is Megan's celebration of life party, everyone should be wearing their purple, upon request of Megan!  I hope to see some of you there!

Cookies!

I woke up this morning really tired because my mister Ollie decided to wake me up all night!  He bats his metal food dish aroung the closet because it doesn't have enough food in it for his liking.  Then he has to try and knock over my can of tea next to my bed because he likes the sound it makes when it falls and spills all over!  On top of that he was chasing my poor girl Libby Lue all around the bedroom and waking her up after she was sleeping.  Today everyone else worked so Jordan and I spend the day together over by my auntie Mary's baking cookies.

Holiday Bells Before

Holiday Bells After

These cookies were the ones I only tried to be nice to my aunt, and I ended up loving them and they are one of my favs now!

Oatmeal Craisen

Oatmeal Craisen

These cookies were so yummy too!  My aunt made these a month or so ago and substituted craisens for raisens and they are just as yummy!

Rum Ball Dough

Rum Balls!

We all had so much fun today! However after a few hours of baking we were all yawning and ready to call it quits!

Jordan licking off the dough!

Rolling Rum Balls

Auntie Mary and Me

Yes, the Rum Balls had actual Rum in them :)

After we were finished Jo and I came home.  After getting home, Aunt Mary sent me a text telling me that I forgot all my rings at her house! Oh no!  So I had planned to go shopping with Donna to find some purple stuff to wear to Megan's celebration of life party on Monday (purple was her fav color)...so since I have like major OCD I picked up my rings and then Momma Donna, and Emily (Megan's sister) and we headed to the mall.  We had a good time shopping and eating dinner.  Donna and I got home and the cats were following me because they were hungry and I got a very rare picture for you...

Ollie & Abby eating together out of the SAME bowl at the SAME time! Very rare, because Abby is a brat!

Today was a decent day for me...no crying or feeling too down.  I did get to see a "special friend" today which was very unexpected, but a very nice surprise.  Even if someone has passed away, they always stick around in your life, they are always by your side.  Thanks Megan for giving me that wonderful opportunity!  Help your mom learn her dance moves and keep the courage to perform on Monday night, and I hope to "see" you again soon!  Now, I get to go cuddle with the best boy in the whole world ;)

Life's too short

Today was a long day at work....the holidays are always extremely busy for us at the animal hospital, so today wasn't an exception.  The day feels like a blur because of walking so many dogs.  By the end of the night I looked at all the collars hanging on the cages and thought to myself, Holy crap we just walked all those dogs and I don't really remember doing most of it.  My coworkers Brandy and Abbie though were rock stars today!  I am so glad and proud to have you two on my boarding team....you do such a great job during the holidays, well anytime for that matter.  I know some days are busy, hard, and stressful but you all do such a wonderful job keeping it all together!  I have a headache again today and it doesn't seem to be going away :(  Momma Donna got home and was looking through some pictures of Megan for her boards for her celebration of life party.  Looking through all the pictures with her just makes me extremely sad.  It's just not fair!  The pictures that drew me in the most, were pictures of Megan and her mom Suzi.  They way they smile at each other, the way you can like feel their energy, and the way you can see the love for each other in them just hit really close to home and my heart.  It's not fair for Suzi to have lost her oldest daughter, parents aren't supposed to outlive their children!  It's not fair for Megan that she never got to get married, have kids, and share all of that with her mom.  They are both losing out on some major things.  Below are some pictures that show you exactly what I mean about them.

This proves a point, that life's too short...you never know which day will be your last.  So don't take this life that you have for granted.  Be thankful for what you have, and strive for what you want.  Regrets and mistakes are memories made, so take chances, and always go for what you believe in.

On another topic, I feel like I've been telling you all about how hard all this is in my life with all things Chad, but I feel like I should share more with you all.  For awhile now I've been feeling lost, confused, unsure of my life, unsure of my path, not motivated, not determined, and not ambitious.  I think it all started at the beginning of this year.  It started with school and not wanting to wake up for class.  If it was up to me I'd sleep or lounge around all day.  So I decided (after not passing a class) to take a semester off from school to figure out what I wanted, and to ease my mind.  Shortly after this was decided, my supervisor Lisa told us that she was moving to FL.  So in July I took over her position.  By doing this it relieved some of my money worries.  From there it slowly kept going downhill.  I think that for a period of time I shut myself off...that I was numb and didn't let feeling in.  When it got too tiring to do that it all came out and may be worse now that I did that.  I don't like feeling like this.  I don't want to feel like my life is such a routine....sleep, wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, get into my pj's, watch some tv, read a little, go to bed, wake up, go to work, come home....are you getting the pattern?  I don't like the feeling of wanting to sleep all the time or not wanting to do anything.  I just want to feel normal and happy again.  Thank you to my friends and family who are standing by me through this difficult time in my life.  Thank you for not getting annoyed with me and not giving up on me, when I have almost given up on myself.  Tomorrow I am baking cookies all day with my aunt....look for a yummy post tomorrow!

Day of Thanks: Happy Thanksgiving!

So today is Thanksgiving and I worked all day long.  I worked 8-6pm.  I woke up at 7am and got ready for work.  Ollie was cracking me up chasing a cap to a soda bottle around my room until it got stuck under the TV.  I drove to work and I just love when there is no traffic!  So today is a day to say what I am thankful for so here it goes....
1.  I am thankful that I am alive: some days I feel like I can't do it anymore but I make it through, just taking one day at a time.
2.  I am thankful for Papa.  I am thankful that he works two jobs to provide for his family.  He does this so that we all have everything that we need and most of what we want.  He sacrifices his time, energy, and sleep to give us everything we have.  We may not get all the time in the world to spend with him, but he sure makes sure that we have what we need.  By blood he isn't my father, not even by marriage is he my step-father...he once was but technically not anymore.  I am thankful that he took me in as his own, and considers me his daughter.  I don't know where I'd be in life if it weren't for him.  He's my hero.  He's my prince in shining armor :)
3.  I am thankful for Momma Donna.  She is literally my best friend.  I tell her everything and more!  She knows me better than I know myself at times.  She is not my mother by blood, nor is she my mother by marriage. ...she is such a great mom and mother that she took me in as her daughter because I was part of Papa's life.  We were destined to meet...I need her and she needs me too!  She gives me the time that a mother-daughter relationship should have.  I always wanted a mother-daughter relationship like in the movies....she gives that to me.  That's what I am thankful for.
4.  I am thankful for my two wonderful kitties, Libby Lue and Ollie.  They are probably the only two things that make me completely and utterly happy at this time in my life.  They are always there when I need them, they are there to lick my tears, and I can't help but smile when I see them.  They are the best cuddlers!
5.  I am thankful for my job!  Not everyone is fortunate to have a job and I have a good one!  I have the best coworkers!  Especially my boarding staff team....they are the best!  During this holiday they kick it into high gear and walk a million dogs in the cold multiple times a day.  Thank you Brandy, Abbie, Kyle, and Richard...you are my stars!
6.  I am thankful for my Aunt Mary and Uncle Lee.  They are very supportive in my life.whether it be with advice or money to fix my broken truck.  I appreciate everything that they do for me, not one thing goes unseen :)
7.  I am thankful for my truck.  I just love it!
8.  I am thankful for books!  I just love to read, so I want to thank all the wonderful authors that aid in my entertainment.
9.  I am thankful for my laptop and Internet so that I am capable to write this blog for all of you to read.
10.  I am thankful for Starbucks! It's the best tasting coffee!
11.  I am thankful to all of my blog followers/readers....I wasn't sure if anyone would even read this when I started it but I soon learned especially after Sunday's post that lots of people take the time to read my blog.  I hope that it helps you and gives you insight into my inner life.  I use my blog as an outlet, kind of like a diary.  Just to make things clear...I'm not looking for pity, or for people to feel sorry for me....and in no way shape or form am I whining....I just don't like all these mixed feelings I've been having and it helps a little to get it all out.  So thank you again for taking the time to read my blog and letting me share my life with you.

Momma Donna sent me this picture while I was at work, telling me that it was weird having Thanksgiving dinner without me. 

I had originally scheduled myself to work on Thanksgiving because of the extra money, however on my drive home tonight, I realized that I think I subconsciously did it because if I worked all day it wouldn't give me a whole lot of time to dwell on the holiday without HIM.  I don't know why but the holidays are the hardest....I am also thankful that I didn't cry today....well didn't cry YET lol!  There is still time left for that, hopefully not but I never know when it's going to hit me.  I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog.  If any of you ever have any questions or want me to write about anything specific I will most definitely take anything into consideration.  Most of the time conversations and thoughts in my day to day life are what inspires me on what to write and share with you all.

</3 Krysta