I've had so much on my mind lately, it feels like it will boil over if anything else happens. I feel like a repeat lots of things on each post but I figure it's easier for people reading to get caught up with my life without having to go back so far. I've been dealing with the loss of everything up until this point of the year. We lost grandma, then a month or so later our house had a fire. We then lost Abby, Libby Lue, and my Ollie boy. I miss them all so much! I wish grandma was sitting here telling us that everything will be ok. I also wish she was here making jokes, singing, and dancing. I didn't know her all that long, but the time I did have, I got to learn and see the real her. She was very easy to love. She would also make me laugh, give her opinions on boys, school, work, and life. It's not fair that we lost her so soon. I didn't know I was going to feel this strongly for her since we didn't have much of a history. All that time spent at St. Lukes with grandma made me fall in love with her. I find myself wanting to tell her things that have happened. Like when the fire happened, and I lost my kitties, I know she would have been there to hold me while I cried. I know she wouldn't be judging me for how long it's taken me to come to terms with it all. I also know that she would be defending how I feel, to just let me feel what I feel. I don't think that anyone knows how much I do miss her. I think about her everyday, yes really everyday. I feel like she is here with me, trying to guide me and my spirit up above this water so that I don't drown. Through the house fire I know having her alive would have helped all of us, especially Donna. I worry about her. First her mom passes away, then the fire happens, loses her cat, and a majority of belongings in the house. Now she went down to Ohio because her dad was having surgery today. I guess his surgery didn't go as planned, and they had to do CPR on the table. The did a CAT scan and luckily there was no brain damage. They are cooling him off for 24 hrs and then warming him back up. I guess this is supposed to help him. I've known him even less compared to grandma, but what I've known of him, I loved. He was always so kind, and thoughtful. He is in the ICU right now. All I know is that our family does not need another loss this year. So I am praying and asking everyone else to do so as well, that he comes out of this ok, and has a nice recovery. On another note, I have thinking about my cats a lot (not that I don't think of them a lot any other time, but more so lately). I'm wondering how Libby Lue is doing, if she has moved on, and has more understanding of the situation. I keep thinking about Ollie, and what Sage said, that he will be coming back to me as a white and black kitten. Some people aren't sure if I should wait that out and just get another cat that I like. However, I have always had no doubt in Sage in past conversations, but now I am being very skeptical. I think it is more of a big deal because the information and situation are so specific of me getting him back. I want him back so bad. I miss him more than anything. They are saying and hoping that we will be back into our house on August 31st, which is a week away. I can't wait for move in day! Set up our rooms, and the rest of the house. Here's what is all done or about so: wood floors, painting, trimming, breakfast bar, cabinets w/ handles, counter tops, light in the kitchen, ceiling fans in each room, bath tub placed with all surrounding decorative tile, the vanity and bathroom sink is in, bathroom floor, A/C, closet doors on, room doors on, door bells, blinds, and most of the electrical. They need to put carpet in the 3 rooms upstairs, and mine down stairs, and then the basement floor tile. Then they have some odds and ends to fix up and then they clean up and then we can move in. I am being very optimistic (which I never am) that our house will be move in ready August 31st (next Friday). I can't wait to get out of this hotel, can't wait to just let the dogs out in the yard. I hope that grandpa will be ok, and that Donna and Malissa can be back for move in day and get to see the house all coming together. There's been much more added to all of that as well. I just want to be back in the house, not staying in the hotel, grandpa to pull through this, have Donna and Malissa home to be there the first day we can move in, and what I want most (of course) is my Ollie boy back to me. He better come soon, I'm going to need a cuddle buddy and something to make me happy and laugh.
Well I am off to bed....have to work in the morning. Only 8-1 though. If grandpa takes a turn for the worse...Papa will be taking my truck to Ohio, and I will use Donna's van to get to work. I really wish I could be there with them for love and support, but I will "hold down the fort" here at "home". I don't want the dogs boarding because they have had so much change and transitions that I think it would make them even more crazy with a crap ton of barky dogs. Also, they aren't up to date on some vaccines. It's just better I stay so that I don't miss work and leave co workers hanging with too much work. I miss all of you, and I apologize for being so absent in peoples lives as of late. I just go to work, come home and discuss house stuff, at the house, or tired as can be. I assure you that once I am settled back at home in my house that I will start back on my normal routine of things. I just hope all of you are understanding.
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