New Life

I went out last night with my aunt, her boyfriend, and his son.  We went and saw a movie and then to a bar that had a live band karaoke.  Afterwards, I went back to her house and we ordered Toppers and we had the BEST delivery man ever!  My bff Chad!  I went to bed super late and woke up a few hours later, I'm very tired today, my back is killing me, and I'm very irritable.  I'm sick of people in general.  I was supposed to go to a surprise party for someone tonight with my mom and I just don't feel like going out.  When my sister came home I was vacuuming out my car, so now she got mad because I wasn't going because my back hurt but I could vacuum out my car.  Two things, I took breaks during vacuuming out my car and I just plain didn't want to go...not because it was with my mom...I just didn't feel like going today!  Don't all of you have days like that? I literally stayed in my pajamas ALL day.  This is the very first day in a long time that I just relaxed at home.  Also, if I say something in my blog and you disagree with it, offended by it, or don't understand it...ask me about it first before you start assuming things.  Sometimes I get off on a tangent or rant about something and it may come out different than what it was in my head.  I don't want people getting the wrong idea. So, please just ask....whether you comment on my post or if you sent me a private message. 
On another note, I don't know what happened in my thinking in the last few days but I am moving on...it's his loss and his regrets that he'll have.  But I have two song/lyrics that I will end with about Chad, my ex. 
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big


And lastly,

"Goodbye To You"

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
It feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

[Chorus:]
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

[Chorus]

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

[Chorus x2]

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

 

 

Now, it's time to live my life....do what I want, when I want!  I want to be me....and if you don't like it...too bad!  This is me: I LOVE my cats, I love my family (Tom, Donna, Malissa, Jordan, Mom, etc), I love to read, I like to relax at home, I like to work out at the gym, I want to lose weight, I don't like to go out drinking all the time, I want to finish school but I don't like it, I'm a little lost, I'm a little confused, I have blondeOCD but not extreme but enough to make people nuts sometimes, I like my time/talks/vents with Momma Donna, I look for approval from Papa because he taught me to be the best person I can be, I LOVE Starbucks, I'm addicted to my Nook, I love counrty music, at this time I live paycheck to paycheck and it sucks....so this is me....if you can't accept me at my worst you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.