Is Hopefully on my Upward Spiral

It was a long year last year with tons of stress and heartache.  I can't say that I am completely better because you never are, however I am feeling a bit better.  I feel like getting out of the bed in the morning and I feel motivated more than I have been in months!  Tonight I went to Gold's Gym with my bff Anna and I joined up and we are going to workout multiple times a week together so that I can lose this weight....my weight loss goal is 20-25lbs.  I want to fit back in my size 6 jeans!  Right now I'm in a size 10 :(  However, I met the hottest guy tonight and he told me he was a sucker for girls in scrubs which totally made me more motivated to want to go and workout!  I can (hopefully) stare at him while working out and losing weight...win win!  On another note, I can't believe it is only 53 days until I leave for my cruise! Back in August of 2011 is when I booked it, and it felt like it was going to take forever!  I guess lots of crying, depression, reading, and watching netflix makes the time fly!  Libby didn't have her surgery today because we were short staffed but she will have it next Monday.  Tomorrow I have my fitness assessment at 7pm.  The lady said to wear my nikes, yoga pants, tshirt, and bring my water bottle because I would be sweating up a storm.  I'm working with someone names Patrick, I'm stuck between wondering if he'll be cute and thinking Oh God he's going to be like wow this girls fat and she can't work out for shit....so wish me luck.  Before that I have dinner plans with my mom...didn't get to see her last week because she was sick.  I haven't heard from Paul (my father) for months now...kinda sad that he doesn't want to know how his daughter is doing.  Especially because I haven't been doing that well, you'd think he'd want to know at least a little about my life, but his quiet absence definitely shows that he could give two shits about me.  I want to accept this however it is still hard for me.  I just can't imagine being a parent and not talking to my children, getting to know them better, and checking up on them and making sure they are okay.  My mom and I have come a long way in the last year....she's trying really hard and I love it!  Things haven't been this good with her in forever it seems.  I'm glad she didn't give up on me, and I'm also glad that I followed Papa's advice and kept trying with her.  I love you Mom!  Wednesday I am having dinner with Lisa my old boss and I am super excited!  I haven't gotten to have dinner with her in forever!